What To Talk About On A First Date With A Guy: 101 Guide
We know how nerve-racking it can be approaching a guy on a first date, let alone knowing what to talk about on a first date with a guy. You are probably on the way to your date now, searching for last-minute tips to help you get through the date!
Don't worry; we have plenty to share. Robyn has been in this exact position before when she went on her first date with Henry. To make things worse, Henry bought his best friend, Luis! Imagine how nervous Robyn was walking up to two guys she had never met! Boys, do not bring your best friend on your first date!
This is unlikely to happen to you, but we are here to help you for any eventuality, so you are super prepared. So don't let it put you off; look at us now, 2 years on!
We have found that sometimes the scariest situations can push you out of your comfort zone and lead to amazing things. So, you have crossed the first hurdle and bagged yourself a date! So now, let's make sure you are bringing your A-game.
Follow along to see our top tips! If you are going on a date with a girl, then check out our blog, especially for dating girls.
Top 8 topics: what to talk about on a first date with a guy
So, to not overwhelm you, we have whittled it down to our top 8 fail-safe topics to talk about on a first date with a guy.
Our biggest tip is to try not to overthink and to be yourself. We know that is easier said than done but simplify the situation. Try and think of it as talking to a friend or relative; that should help you relax! Oh, and follow our top topics, and you will be fine!
Talk About Where You Are From
Start off simple. Talk about where you are from.
When thinking about what to talk about on a first date with a guy, it is often assumed to be more complicated than it is. There is no point talking about your deepest secrets if you don't know the basic information about your date.
You might know where they are from if you have spoken over text before your date, but this is an excellent chance to expand on that. It can help you bond over common neighbourhoods in which you might have lived.
The likelihood is that you currently live in the exact location or are both from the same place. For example, we are both from the midlands, but Henry was living in Cardiff, and Robyn was living in London. Therefore, we had the midlands in common as a common ground but allowed for a conversation about the current cities we were living in.
It might sound like such a simple question. Still, it could lead to a magnitude of conversations, such as childhood, university or family. It helps to build common ground, which is key on a first date, as it allows you to relax and find out if you are compatible.
Bring Up Something From Their Dating Profile
Now, this might be controversial as it could run the risk of embarrassing your date. However, we think it shows confidence and a good sense of humour.
You might not have met on a dating profile, but most people do these days. So if you haven't, you could bring up something from their social media you might have seen when giving them a little stalk.
Your dating profile is the best place to look for when wondering what to talk about on a first date with them. It has all the information they want you to know about them, so ask them about it.
It could be a picture with friends or in a location you recognise. A common one is festival pictures. For example, say you have been to the same festival. In that case, you can bring it up and have a conversation about it!
For us, Robyn bought up a picture Henry had on his profile with a dog. Robyn loves dogs, so she was intrigued to find out if it was Henry's dog. Robyn was in luck; he has 4!
Or, it could be a chat-up line he used in his bio. You could call him out and try to make a bit of banter. This will show your confidence and add some laughs into the mix. It will also make him feel happy as you are paying attention to the details he chose to share.
Ask Them About Their Job
When discussing what to talk about on a first date with a guy, an obvious topic is jobs. Unfortunately, it is hard to avoid in this day and age due to it dictating a lot of people's lives.
However, we couldn't recommend asking this question enough. Hearing someone talk about their job or what they do for a living can be really insightful. It could make them light up and show their genuine passion for their work.
Or, it could show they aren't really into their job and lead on to a conversation about what they really want to do in life. It could indicate that they are not ambitious and don't care much about a career. Or, it could show you that they have big dreams and are making moves to where they want to be.
This can help you work out if they are for you. If your ambitions match yours, you can bounce off each other and discuss your career goals. On the other hand, they could be unmotivated, which might not align with what you are like.
We were lucky that our ambition matched straight away, which led to hours of conversation about what we would like to do. Look where we are now, living our dream of writing a blog together about travelling the world!
Ask Them What They Are Passionate About
Similar to asking your date about their job, ask them about their passions.
If you think of what you want to know about your date, that will help you to direct the conversation. For example, when thinking about what to talk about on a first date with a guy, think about what you are passionate about.
Therefore, when you talk about it, you can compare your passions and see if there is common ground there. Ideally, you want someone who has similar passions to you or has a passion you find attractive.
One thing to remember when dating is that wanting to talk about yourself is human nature. At the end of the day, that is what you know best and what comes naturally. So when on the first date with a guy, asking him about his passions should help him open up to you.
This was really easy with Henry as he was passionate about a lot of things in life. We found we could speak for hours about our passions, and it led to lots of different conversations off the back of it.
Compliment Your Date
Do not leave the compliments to the men!
It is stereotypical in society for men to compliment women. However, it is the 21st century! So pay your date a compliment.
One thing Henry always says he loves about Robyn is how complementary she is. It helps to boost his confidence and reassure him that I am attracted to him. Of course, paying your date, a compliment will have the same effect.
So, when you don't know what to talk about on your date, throw in a compliment. It gives reassurance to your date that the effort they put in is being recognised and sets you off on a positive note.
Also, it shows confidence. Men like women who are confident and sure of themselves. So by complimenting your date off the bat will make you come across as really strong and confident.
Do They Have A Bucket List?
A bucket list can mean more to some than others, which is why it is great to talk about it on a first date with a guy.
If there are experiences you want to do in your life and your date doesn't have similar aspirations, then it is best to find that out early on. For example, say on your bucket list is to go skydiving, but their worst nightmare is skydiving; it might start to show your difference.
Now, we are not saying that is a massive issue; you are allowed to have different aspirations. However, it helps to see if you are the complete opposite and don't agree on anything. Or whether you have pretty identical bucket lists and want to experience the same things. Although it doesn't matter too much, it would be nice to experience something on your bucket list together (if all goes well!)
It is a great topic to talk about on a first date as it helps you to expand on the topics you are talking about and learn more about each other. You could even find he has done one of the things on your bucket list and gives you something to bond over!
Ask About Their Hobbies
When looking for topics on what to talk about on a first date with a guy, a fail-safe option is hobbies. Similar to passion, everyone has at least one hobby.
Hobbies could be anything from sports to train spotting. You can really tell a lot about someone from what hobbies they do. Certain hobbies tend to attract introverted or extroverted people naturally.
For example, Rugby boys tend to be loud, rowdy and quite popular. This can tell you that they might have a busy social calendar and are a confident character. Whereas someone who likes to play snooker might be a bit more reserved and introverted.
Again, these are just stereotypes. The point is it can tell you a lot about your date and find out what they do in their spare time. It also helps you see where you would fit in if the date was successful!
Hobbies may also include spending time with family members or even listening to their favorite music.
Ask Them Something Fun
As much as all of these topics are important to talk about, they are very sensible and can be serious topics. So our tip when looking at what to talk about on a first date with a guy is to ask them something fun.
Don't overthink this! You don't have to become a comedian; it can just be something unique and light-hearted. Something that could catch them off guard and make a date memorable. Everyone gets asked the same sort of questions on dates, so this is your chance to be creative.
Something like 'Describe your perfect day, 'What's the scariest thing you've ever done, 'What's something your parents don't know about you?'. These are all questions that will get your date thinking.
The first date with a guy shouldn't have to be scary and serious. If you appear confident and take control of the situation, so you feel comfortable, you will have a great time!
What Not to Talk About on a First Date with a Guy
Now, as we said, we want to ensure you are as prepared as you can be for your date. We told you what to talk about on a first date with a guy, but what about topics to avoid, like the plague!
With all of the dating apps our there in this online dating generation, it can be easy to say things on first dates that you might get away with on dating sites. Now, we're not relationship experts, but you can tell a lot about a person by what they don't say on a date. Therefore, put your best foot forward and get the conversation flowing without covering conversation topics that ruin a first date.
Here are some things not to talk about with a guy.
Your Ex!- Don't be that girl that just talks about your Ex, big turn-off!
His Ex- Same goes with his Ex- they are Exes for a reason.
Religion - Stay away from controversial topics for a first date.
Politics- You don't want to be shouting across the table at someone you just met- keep that for the second date.
Money- Money can make some people feel uncomfortable as it is taboo.
Look, sometimes it's hard to completely avoid these topics. So if it comes up, it comes up. But, for example, religion could be something you clearly have in common and might not be controversial to talk about.
The same goes with politics; sometimes, current affairs mean it is bought up. We would just advise not going too deep into the topics that might make your date or yourself feel uncomfortable.
But Ex's is still a no-go area!!
Step-by-step: What to Talk About on a First Date with a Guy
To help you even further, we are going to give you a foolproof step-by-step plan on what to talk about on a first date with a guy. This is to merge all of the topics we have discussed above into a plan to help you know when to bring up different conversations with your date.
Phase 1- First 10 Minutes
So, in the first 10 minutes, you don't want to ask your date what's on their bucket list as you need to give yourselves time to settle into the surroundings.
Questions such as:
Where are you from originally?
I am a bit nervous. I can't lie, are you?
Did you have a good day?
When knowing what to talk about on a first date with a guy, keep it really simple. We know they are a bit dry and dull, but they are to get you both comfortable.
Phase 2- First Drinks Drank
Now that you have had a drink and got the more awkward and formal questions out of the way, you should hopefully feel a bit more relaxed with each other. This is your chance to ask questions you are intrigued to find out. Start gauging their personality, likes, dislikes and what you might have in common.
Some great questions to ask here could be:
What do you do for work?
Have you travelled recently? If so, where to?
Do you have any interesting hobbies?
These questions are helping you to dive a little deeper into who you are on a date with. Don't overcomplicate what to talk about on a first date with a guy; it should hopefully come naturally.
Phase 3- Things Are More Comfortable By Now (we hope)
This stage of a first date is where we feel like you can get a little silly. Lighten the mood and allow your true personability to come out. By now, we hope both of your guards have come down a bit, and you are able to have some fun.
Some good questions to ask at this point could be:
What is something your parents don't know about you?
What's on your bucket list?
Are you a cat or dog person?
These first-date questions don't have to be deep or meaningful. They can be silly and random in the hopes it creates some banter between the two of you. Also, finding out little stories about each other can help you bond and start to build a connection.
Phase 4- Another Date?
By now, we would hope the first date has gone well. You should be an expert at this point on what to talk about on a first date with a guy. So now, it is time to seal the deal.
The last few minutes are just as important as the first few minutes. After that, it is your chance to assess whether another date is happening.
The key here is to make sure you let your date know how you feel things went. If it went shockingly and you have nothing in common, make sure you don't lead your date on. However, if it was the most amazing first date you have ever been on, then make sure you let your date know you would like a second.
These are some excellent final questions to assess the situation:
How is work looking for you this week?
Do you have a busy week coming up?
You mentioned you liked rock climbing; fancy going this weekend if you are free?
Phase 5- Move To Another Venue, Perhaps?
Now, if you are comfortable and you are really feeling the strong vibes, then you might not want the date to end. By now, you have plenty to talk about with your date and might need more time.
If you are confident enough, ask him if he would like to continue the first date somewhere else. This could be to get another drink, go for a walk or even a night out if you are a party animal.
Here are some excellent questions:
What are you doing after this, fancy grabbing another drink?
I am feeling something sweet, would you like to get dessert with me?
I feel like going out now. Would you be up for going to a club?
It's a confident move, but one we 100% back if you are feeling your date.
Final Thoughts- What To Talk About On A First Date With A Guy
We know that it is a lot to take in! Knowing what to talk about on a first date with a guy will never get easier.
Our top tips should help you to feel more confident going into the date and hopefully give you some ideas of what to talk about. But, please do not stress if you don't remember half of these tips; they are only a guideline; it is not gospel!
If there was one thing we would recommend on a first date with a guy, it is to be yourself. Being yourself is ultimately what is going to help you two form a bond. These questions are just there to help guide you in the right direction.
We hope this helps you! Get in contact with the A Couple Things To Do team if you have any topics you would like us to cover!
